Hey everyone. I started this thing called “Storytime with Sammy” a while ago. To those who don’t know what the heck this is: This is a place for anyone with interesting/life changing or just plain old classic stories to tell the world what their feeling. So, let’s begin with this one incident that happened not so long ago, but it has made quite an impact on me.
This thought has been bothering me for so long that I eventually forgot that this thought had bothered me at all. A while ago, a guy from my previous class started talking to me, Let’s call him Christian. So, Christian is a very sensitive, shy guy. He’s a man of limited words. He barely talked to me in school and when I left, he only struck up a conversation or two after a long time. A few days ago, he decided to confront me about his feelings. He said he likes me. He said he loves my personality and He thought I was pretty.
Now, to any normal human, this is such a sweet moment. Being told that someone likes you, appreciates you is a very nice gesture. To me, it was amazing. Very few guys have been interested in me in my life: those who are into that “one” thing and those who find me funny or interesting. The majority of guys were the former kind.
I told him kindly that I don’t like him and long story short, he gave up eventually and stopped talking to me entirely. I didn’t mind as we barely talked, anyway.
A few days later, after this incident, I was talking to my best friend and he told me that, when asked, Christian said that I was fat and ugly. And someone had accidentally hacked his social media account. Who would go out with a girl like me?
I didn’t think so much about it then. But now, it’s killing me. It’s just that I never thought I’d be that ugly. I’m not pretty. I’m not beautiful. I’m just a plain, simple girl who knows a thing or two about fashion. I’m not skinny. I don’t have the curves at the right places. And I certainly don’t have a lot of boys lurking after me. I’ve always been a fat kid, it never bothered me when I was little because my parents always nurtured and cared for me. My friends never called me ugly or fat. I’m just not the kind of girl boys fall in love with. I hate looking at my reflection.
And that’s okay because I’m used to it.
After (over) thinking for so long, it has dawned on me: I didn’t need a proposal to feel beautiful. I didn’t need that compliment. I didn’t need those words. I didn’t need a man. I needed and craved ACCEPTANCE. I wanted to be accepted as I am. After so long, someone had accepted me as I was. So, this is me: Funny, Fat and Ugly. That’s just who I am. Accept me as I am, or watch me as I go.
Until next time,