Previously published on AkkarBakkar.com by Samia Arshan. (That’s me)
Boys are all the same. It’s in their programming, they screw you over and leave with a smirk. However, some come in your life and leave permanent footprints all over your heart and show you how much love you deserve. Should we learn from our mistakes or learn that mistakes are ought to be made?
Well, here’s MY STORY.
A beautiful summer romance which took unexpected turns. I liked a boy, he liked me too. He asked me out and I said yes. My friends didn’t like him at all and asked me to stay away from him. Being the stubborn kid I am, I talked to him anyway. They found out and made me swear to NEVER see him again, quite literally. I didn’t understand this then and even now, I’m clueless as to why they stopped me.. I mean, it’s my choice to choose a partner. It’s THEIR choice to like him or not.
They gave me the ultimate question one day, harder than the ones they ask in KBC. My friends asked me to choose one of them. I didn’t tell them and secretly started dating him. I met him near the staircase and stole secret glances during the rest of the day. I told everyone I was just going to the washroom, when in reality, I was meetig him somewhere in the corridors. Long story short, after a billion fights, I chose him over my best friends because I knew that even when I have no one, I’ll have him. We have so many memories, happy ones that still make me giggle. We laughed, we loved, we kissed, we shared everything.
What about my friends? Well, they dumped me. The reason I’m saying this, is because it was never less than a breakup. They stabbed me right in the front and twisted the knife. They told everyone how much of a ‘slut’ I was, how I should just die, how I’ve given my heart to every boy I’ve laid my eyes on. Not just that, one of my friends, MY BEST FRIEND, she wrote on the walls of our school washroom that I’m a slut and my other friend is a prick. (Translate these in Hindi and that’s what they wrote.)
I finally decided to give up on our decade long friendship and be with my boyfriend instead. I know it was a mean thing to do and guess what? Karma got to me soon.
I had no one to talk to. I was crowded by friends before him, but now I had no one. I did have him as a partner but I mean, how much time could he spend with his clingy girlfriend?
He chose to stick with me anyway and spend lesser time with his own friends. He was and still is, the best friend I’ve ever had, the best listener and of course, a person who supports me all the time. I made another friend a while later, and trust me, the three of us can crack the funniest jokes together.
He made me smile. I was finally in love, after such a long time, I was feeling amazing. Our hands together felt so amazing. You know that feeling you get when you bite into a cupcake? That’s the feeling I got. We belonged together. I felt so good, I wished that if this was a dream, I never want to wake up. I found myself struggling at times too, wondering if this was too good to be true. I got insecurities. I never found him lie or cheat, but still. I constantly had this feeling we’d break up and I’ll be left alone that I’m not pretty. Not even beautiful or even remotely cute. I’d like to give you a piece of advice: Don’t overthink. Your thoughts will suffocate you.
Next thing I know, I’m getting beautiful gifts to make me feel gorgeous. His words make me melt. I don’t know what the future holds for us but what I do know is that I’ll never forget him. His smile. His dimples. His eyes. The way he says me name. The way he makes that confused face. Did I mention his smile? He means the world to me.
I miss my friends at times, I’m not angry and I don’t hate them. Heck I’d give anything to make this normal again, but I’ll never forget what they did to me. If you’re reading this, best friend, please know that I’m sorry I chose him, and I’m sorry I lied.
And if you’re reading this, Vikas, you should know I’m grateful to have you in my life.
I love you,